I reread my last post, and the end sentence is what jumped out at me…IF I can leave. When I spoke to my school here, and they asked if I will stay when my contract ends, I said the same thing to them. If I can leave, I will. As I walked home that day, I realized that was the wrong mentality and wrong way of speaking.
I asked God for a sign, should I stay? Should I go? And April gave me the sign that I needed. I won’t go into detail, but it was rather clear. Time to go. I had this, “What if I go, and this happens…” Well, I know now that won’t happen. Again, speaking in code because it is personal. But I went back to my school the same day, and said I cannot have that mentality and cannot speak that way. WHEN I can leave. I will go. The thought of staying here six more months brought panic to my heart, especially after receiving my sign. I am leaving.
And time is drawing closer. I had wanted to return to the US first before going to Europe, but I realized I am not ready for the US yet. Nor, do I have the time. I miss my family terribly, but I cannot go back just to travel three corners of the US and expose myself to so many strangers and then risk not being able to get into Europe on time. I am leaving a Level One country. I have been isolated on an island with only 188 cases of COVID, only one death and all but seven have recovered. The US has to wait until next year.
I have purchased a guide book for walking the Camino and the best time to walk is Fall and Spring. I must walk it this year, the year of my big 5-0 birthday, and the year I have closed out my monumental time in China. I cannot wait for Spring. So, I must do it in the Fall, before Winter hits. Otherwise, heavier clothes, more things to keep warm to carry and buy and I don’t want to do that.
So, I have decided to leave here end of August, fly into Europe. Find a small town in Eastern Europe near the sea with as little people as possible and keep to my self for September and train for the walk. However, this is all contingent on June, to see when Spain and France open up. The rumors that they will open then are strong, so I am hoping so! As well as the Camino being open. Yes, that will mean being around people, but odds are not many will be doing it anyways. From the statistics, the only people who did it in 2020 were the Spaniards mainly. But, I am very hopeful! Because I feel it is meant to be.
Right now, I have begun the challenge to prepare. For the last four weeks, I have been exercising twice a day. I have revamped and have been sticking strictly to my diet. Actually, I have been fasting for the last week and only eating once a day, after my evening/after work workout…I do eat a couple hard-boiled eggs at lunch though. No cheat meals. No alcohol has been in my system, and I feel better than I have felt for a long time! Never think I am actually 50, and I still cannot believe it myself.
This is my news. This is what I feel strongly in my heart of hearts is what I am meant to do. And next month, I will start the serious preparation…book a flight, and a place to stay in September. Time seems to be flying by since I have decided to leave, and I am getting nervous and anxious for the next steps! But that has always told me, I am going in the right direction. Ask and you shall receive!